They Will Rise Again From the Tundra

I’m not sure if “Man Gave Names to All the Animals” is the worst song Dylan has ever recorded, but it’s certainly close. Coming of the earlier portion of his descent into Christian-themed music and through twelve verses of banal, unironic descriptions of — for the most part — farm animals, Dylan alludes to the story of Adam bestowing names upon all God’s creatures [...]

I don’t know if anyone out there still actually believes in the notorious “Face on Mars” located in the Red Planet’s Cydonia region, but just in case, those of you with any lingering trepidation may put your fears to rest. [...]

So the Obama administration is presently hemorrhaging classified information courtesy of WikiLeaks, the Bush administration is doing so posthumously, the earth’s crust is hemorrhaging oil, and Tom Vilsack is simply battling an embarrassing case of hemorrhoids after/during the stress of the Shirley Sherrod debacle. [...]

So this article on the NewScientist website really chapped my ass. It cites the publication of a new study that outlines successful use of acupuncture to treat spinal injuries induced in rats. [...]

I used to watch Bill Nye the Science Guy when I was a kid, and his show stands as probably the earliest discernible science-related influence I can remember. [...]

If you’re an office worker like me, you probably spend quite a bit of time clicking a mouse and pounding on a keyboard. The time you spend doing this also might lead to some manner of repetitive stress injury. In my case, my right index finger is nearly perpetually swollen, stiff, and in pain [...]

As best I can remember, I originally posted this blog post some time during 2005 or 2006 on the now-defunct WritingUp.com, and because I’ve been too busy (or something) to maintain a semblance of a working blog these past few months, I hereby provide this tasty archival morsel. It is my sincerest hope that posting these foul words precludes some increased [...]

Simon Read begins War of Words: A Tale of Newsprint and Murder with two quotations, the first an excerpt from the Daily Dramatic Chronicle (later the San Francisco Chronicle) comparing the marksmanship of American journalists to that of their French counterparts and the second a fitting quote from Thompson’s indelible The Great Shark Hunt [...]

I am forced to sit here and suffer through another long afternoon of pretending to work largely because I have become more efficient as a worker. I wouldn’t even go as far as to say that I’ve automated everything because, in truth, I haven’t automated anything. I’ve simply succeeded in cutting down the number of steps it takes to complete [...]

It happened very suddenly. A large pair of artificial breasts shrouded in a loose-fitting shirt of the Renaissance Period slid into view at eye level as I was standing in a circle of my friends. I tilted my head upward to meet the large middle-aged man’s gaze. Thin lines of lavender set his lips apart from the rest of a ruddy, sweaty face, and the curly, black nylon wig [...]

There are too many stimuli and no way to unhook from the Delivery System. Every thirty seconds or so, TweetDeck chirps and notifies me that some Twitter entity or another has posted something to the web. Facebook is running and constantly updating itself with video, status updates, and one friend who is rebuking me [...]

There are few activities more masochistic than golf. The twisted nature of the sport has been covered all too well by golfers and comedians alike, so I will spare you the banal jokes. I’m in no mood for them after what happened this afternoon.

I’m not one of those people that plays golf [...]