They Will Rise Again From the Tundra

Well, they did it; and good for them.  The people of Egypt finally managed to run Hosni Mubarak out of town on a rail and paved the way for a democratic future—assuming the Egyptian military, which has now taken on the responsibilities of the President, doesn’t succumb to the vice grips of power and greed.  Its willingness to act as a short-lived transitional government isn’t a sure thing, but the gamble is one worth taking.  The military itself was split between those who supported the protesters and those who wanted to see Mubarak cling to life until September, when God-knows-what would happen.  Those odds are better than what Egypt would get with Omar Suleiman at the helm, though, and its beginning to sound more and more like the army will comply with quick transition.

Being a little late for work this morning, I was fortunate enough to hear the BBC’s coverage of Mubarak’s resignation … Read more

Courtesy of goodrob13's photostream. (http://www.flickr.com/photos/goodrob13/3928208574/)

So the Obama administration is presently hemorrhaging classified information courtesy of WikiLeaks, the Bush administration is doing so posthumously, the earth’s crust is hemorrhaging oil, and Tom Vilsack is simply battling an embarrassing case of hemorrhoids after/during the stress of the Shirley Sherrod debacle.  Those are the big stories at the moment, but in true form for a real live Twenty-First Century Narcissist, I’m not really thinking about all that right now.

Something terrible happened on Sunday at Dave & Buster’s… I lost.

In and of itself, losing is not a rarity in my life though I am, in general, more accustomed to winning.  But on Sunday evening, I lost in a big way.  I lost at everything.  Even now, my ego hasn’t restored itself, nor will the chasm be sated or filled by gobbling up Scrabble wins and cheap, trivial victories. … Read more

There are few activities more masochistic than golf.  The twisted nature of the sport has been covered all too well by golfers and comedians alike, so I will spare you the banal jokes.  I’m in no mood for them after what happened this afternoon.

I’m not one of those people that plays golf often as I find it is best enjoyed sparingly and only after adhering to a months-long regimen of intense meditation, masturbation, and dieting.  Anything less might allow for my violent competitiveness to creep in and ruin the day for everyone.  Indeed.  No one who competes against me in anything, be it darts, pool, basketball, or jacks (etc.) will end up enjoying himself very much.  If I perform well, I normally win by a large enough margin to make the game seem pointless, and if I am losing, I will fall into petulance and throw a conniption fit … Read more

The rants don’t come easily these days — at least not as easily as they once did — save for a few impromptu outbursts when something ruffles the feathers or playing the jester.  Other than that, there is little to be said about current events.  Things continue much as they always have, Barack Obama or not, and the Republicans, as clinically insane as ever, need not worry too much about a paradigm shift to the Left.  The Democrats are not a party built for political hegemony.  Infighting and weak knees normally derail any such hopes and all for the better, I suppose.  Perhaps the Dawn of the Third Party is not so far away as it seems to be, though the dim hope that the American voter might realize the stagnation wrought by the two-party yo-yo is one better left unspoken lest the eventual disappointment proves too much to bear.… Read more

“The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.” Gen. George S. Patton

I was stumbling around the internet when I happened across the full text of Gen. George Patton’s famous speech to the Third Army.  My memory is a bit fuzzy, but up until about fifteen minutes ago, my only knowledge of this oratory marvel came from anecdotes and the film Patton starring George C. Scott.

In truth, it was nothing I didn’t expect.  Patton crammed enough violent imagery and profanity into that address as humanly possible and spoke with the hyperbolic sense of patriotism one expects from a general in the United States Army.  Don’t misconstrue my words, please.  There isn’t anything wrong with patriotism, and indeed, it is to be commended when applied rationally, but patriotic sentiment was monopolized long ago by a contingent of … Read more

Illinois is not noteworthy for its scrupulous politics.  The state’s back alleys are awash with tales of discarded votes and large-scale fraud—even murder—and the tendrils of corruption reach far into every level of the government.  I’ll spare you the historical examples suffice it to say that Rod Blagojevich’s arrest by federal agents this morning is long overdue.

I can’t claim a truly deep knowledge of the troubled governor’s tenure in Illinois politics.  I know the bullet points (none of them are good), and I’ve listened to his half-cocked justifications for the “Free Rides for Seniors” program that would have further crippled an already atrocious budget by allowing senior citizens to ride the CTA buses without paying.  It was a futile effort to save face in front of a constituency bearing almost unanimous disgust for him.  I certainly know enough to consider him one of the most acidic politicians in my … Read more

Perhaps I’ll have more later on the potential implications of the Obama Administration once I can wrap my head around all the potential boons and pitfalls suffice it to say that a recent issue of the Chicago Reader said it best:  don’t screw this up.

In the meantime, Newsweek has released a series of articles entitled Secrets of the 2008 Campaign, which is a kitschy title.  Nonetheless, the behind-the-scenes reportage is some of the best campaign journalism since Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72.

Newsweek is a largely mediocre source of news, but every now and then they put out a smashmouth piece of honest journalism.  This is one of those.… Read more

Making John McCain the President is like giving Grandpa the remote control to the VCR. Brian Milsap

I think that’s a damn good quote.  It’s catchy and true, and I’m friends with the man who said it.  All good reasons that it’s been stuck in my head for a week or two.

There is a sad lining to these words, though, because the truth is that neither Obama nor McCain have the slightest idea how to fix this economy.  They can debate about foreign policy all they want.  Those decisions will be made by nameless white men behind a massive smokescreen that, as far as I can tell, has been hiding this country’s policy rats since the establishment of the FBI.  And it will work the same way with the economy.

The president is and always has been an overstated role in the government.  Anyone who’s taken a high school … Read more