Another Comic Book Movie Discussion…

March 22nd, 2009 by The Polski Samurai, under Fay & Snob. No Comments. 380 views

SNOB:
What the hell is that?

FAY:
What?

SNOB:
Your t-shirt. Or should I say my t-shirt.

FAY:
This isn’t yours.

SNOB:
How is that not mine? Who else would buy an “Alan Moore was right” t-shirt?

FAY:
You think I could fit this well in one of your t-shirts?

SNOB:
Hmm. So are you trying to steal my image?

FAY:
Yes. That’s exactly what I’m trying to do.

SNOB:
You actually agree with the message on the t-shirt?

FAY:
Not every comic book movie does justice the story or characters (cough cough) Superman Returns (cough cough).

SNOB:
Why didn’t you like Watchmen?

FAY:
Just adapting panels from the comic book to the big screen doesn’t mean you’re making an accurate comic book movie.

SNOB:
Tell me about it. After I saw 300 I pictured myself kicking Zack Snyder in the nuts in slow motion then quickly speeding up as soon as contact was made.

FAY:
Well regardless, we are in the era of the comic book movie boom.

SNOB:
It’s weird. When I was a kid I pictured all my comic book heroes on the big screen and now that it’s happening I feel like I’m pulling the slots at a casino. I’m taking a chance even though I most likely going to be let down.

FAY:
So why take the chance?

SNOB:
Well it’s a comic book movie.

FAY:
So you buy into the hype even though you assume you’re going to be depressed afterwards?

SNOB:
Well, when you win at the slots it’s ever so sweet.

FAY:
I dunno. It’s just a movie. And all the children and simpletons out there just want to be entertained.

SNOB:
Checkers is entertaining. Swan boat rides are entertaining. Poorly made comic books movies are like pouring salt on an open wound while getting a root canal by Stevie Wonder.

FAY:
What’s so bad about them? I mean there are many movies that I got bored with but didn’t have a repulsive gag reflux after watching them.

SNOB:
All I’m asking is for producers, writers and directors to get on the same page and tell the story right. In 1975, the comic book Giant Size X-Men was released introducing several new characters, all from different places of origin. Storm was from Africa. Colossus from Russia. Nightcrawler from Germany. In the X-Men movie trilogy, all the characters speak with American accents. Well except for Nightcrawler. He still had an accent. He was pretty sweet actually.

FAY:
Don’t you think you’re nit-picking too much?

SNOB:
Possibly. But what if someone was doing a documentary about you and the actor playing you was one-hundred pounds heavier and one foot shorter than you?

FAY:
That sounds like Chip, my imaginary friend.

SNOB:
Ha. Ha. Wouldn’t you get pissed, though?

FAY:
Yeah, yeah. But times change. Dialogue, clothing, politics, culture has all changed since comics were originally written.

SNOB:
Well, Watchmen’s fifteen minutes of fame is over. And that’s all the change I need.

FAY:
Hey… “Alan Moore was right.”

SNOB:
Give me my shirt back.