Driving stick under the influence

March 22nd, 2009 by The Polski Samurai, under Fay & Snob. No Comments. 292 views

FAY:
Watcha watchin?

SNOB:
Sports.

FAY:
That’s pretty general.

SNOB:
Basketball.

FAY:
Good game?

SNOB:
Why do you care? You don’t like sports let alone know anything about them.

FAY:
Well you only watch sports out of boredom, gambling, and for stats.

SNOB:
And… commercial. Now, what were you saying?

FAY:
Never mind.

SNOB:
I’m hungry.

FAY:
Hmm. So many commercials.

SNOB:
Maybe some orange chicken with white rice…

FAY:
Are they going to show anything different?

SNOB:
What?

FAY:
Look at this. There are only three different types of commercials being shown.

SNOB:
So?

FAY:
That’s a very limited audience they’re selling to. I mean common, really? It’s the same three brands over and over again. Beer, cars, and Viagra… or male enhancement if you will.

SNOB:
Alcohol, cars, and sex. What else is there in life?

FAY:
You know what’s funny too?

SNOB:
Funny haha or funny interesting?

FAY:
Each brand recommends or warns viewers not do indulge in the other two brands.

SNOB:
…

FAY:
Look. The commercial tells you not to drink alcohol while taking Viagra. In addition, you should not operate heavy machinery or drive.

SNOB:
I can drive with a boner.

FAY:
Beer commercials always have warnings to “drink responsibly.”

SNOB:
I’m “drinking responsibly” right now.

FAY:
And car commercials tell you if you drive their car, you can get any woman you want. This again goes back to the fact that you can’t take a chubby capsule and drive. Any they’re expensive.

SNOB:
So what are you saying?  I can’t pop a prick pill while having an adult beverage and drive at the same time?

FAY:
Hey watch the road!

SNOB:
Whoa!

FAY:
Why did you put a TV in car anyway?

SNOB:
No one tells me what to do.

FAY:
Move over, I’m driving.

SNOB:
Fine. But turn right here. I’m meeting Susie tonight.

FAY:
But she lives two towns over.

SNOB:
Yeah, but I need to pick up some Viagra.

FAY:
God I hate you.